8
Sep
2009
Farewell to my 20’s
A comparison I'll no doubt regret making
After nearly three full decades in youth’s exile, I’ve been discovered. I will emerge tomorrow morning from a camouflaged hideaway with my hands in the air and tell the authorities ‘I am Jimi Odell, and my time is up’. As I am handcuffed, blindfolded, and led away, I will already know I have been defeated. I shall put up no resistance.
Feeling groggy and tired, I won’t remember much about the trial. The court records will show that I pleaded guilty to a mis-spent youth although I won’t be able to pin down any concrete memory of that. Following a brief trial during which my lawyer says very little, I will be given a life sentence and set free to roam the earth, tutting at those foolish 20-somethings who think they can get away with anything.
The roaring 20's - not to scale
And so now I am 30, I can’t help but look back over my 20’s and wonder if they met my expectations. I had of course assumed that they would closely resemble the sitcom Friends – a spacious living room, a series of week-long relationships, and the occasional life lesson picked apart over a giant cup of coffee… in the end though, I was closer to the sitcom Spaced – zig-zagging conversations about crappy jobs, hazy afternoons of tea and weed, shouting for missing pets on Hampstead Heath, and a constant nagging fear that struggling to make it as an artist won’t pay the bills.
So, has anything changed? Not really, but it’s kind of a load off – all those bullshit ‘by the time I’m 30′ yardsticks can drift away as I relax into my life, achieving what I achieve as and when I achieve it – and I’m getting better and better at achieving all the time (i before e except after c?). It’s all good. I actually don’t know what the fuss is about.
Actual wedding
A little over a week ago, I got married… that’s pretty much what I’ve been doing during my blogular absence. Making that happen, then doing it, then recovering from all the making and doing – I’ve been having a really good time. And now I’m here, married, 30 years old, a proper, actual man, I admit that I really do feel different. And, without wanting to get too sentimental, my marriage to the coolest person I have ever met is far more of a milestone than any age-number could ever represent. Thirty schmirty, I’m a husband. I can not even hope to express in words how surreal (and awesome) that feels, and how surprised I am at how surreal it feels (the awesomeness, I expected). We still live in the same house, we still feed the same cat, we’re still share the same laughs, yet somehow something significant is changed. Maybe it’s the new toaster. Yesterday, I answered the phone to the man from the insurance company and when I heard myself saying ‘This is her husband, can I take a message?’, I nearly laughed out loud. I guess the best way to explain it is that the adventure I already knew I was on just hit the point of no return and I got butterflies.
Anyway… it’s now less than half an hour until I’m officially thirty, and I need to publish this before it becomes anachronistic. Thanks for reading and I promise that my next blog will be ridiculous and far less personal. Look forward to it.
This coming from a foolish twenty-something who already thinks he knows better…
Shit! I forgot to tick 'dress as a monster' off my list. Too late now.
![[del.icio.us]](http://images.del.icio.us/static/img/delicious.small.gif){kind=small}
Tags: friends, kafka, life lessons, marriage, spaced, thirty, wedding
Dude, that is THE most rocking pimp hat!
Congrats on both your marriage and erm… oldness? No, that’s not right. Ah, congrats on your escape from the futility of youth! I, myself, must endure another 7 years of being an insignificant 20 something.
Ah well, life moves on.
Look forward to the next instalment.
Yep. I know what you’re talking about with the “I’m a husband. I can not even hope to express in words how surreal (and awesome) that feels, and how surprised I am at how surreal it feels”
Before I got married, married people told me “it really changes you and the relationship. You feel so different afterwards; its fantastic.” And I thought “well, that might have been the case for you, but what can it really change? I’mvery secure and happy in my relationship – a piece of paper saying we’re married wont change a thing”
And now I’m the one saying to people “it really changes you and the relationship. You feel so different afterwards; its fantastic.” Because it does, and you do, and it is. So there!
Allen – thanks man! Yeah, oldness will do, I’m comfortable with that. Rock the 20’s, you wear them well. Also, I should point out that the hat I wore is an original – my then-future-wife made the leopard band and attached the feathers with a hand made clip. No one else in the world has that hat.
Lennon – you were one of the people who recommended married life in your pre-wedding email. I totally get what you were recommending now. And maybe it’s just hindsight but I think I sensed that change in you guys too – not in the way you interact with each other but in the way you collectively interact with the world. Ah, good times.
Nice one Jim.
Speaking as an unmarried 30-something I will tell you that bullshit yardsticks will in fact multiply until your life becomes a game of Kerplunk with the Reaper and your worth will be judged by how many sticks you have removed and stacked in a neat little pile before your inevitable plunking. Interestingly I have found those doing the judging are playing alongside you and desperate to somehow validate their lives and achievements, amass more sticks than you and hopefully go to heaven. Things to do before you are 30? It’s not brew some tea from bug testicles in the Amazon or stand on top of Mount Fucka-Wucka, it is hopefully to develop into a human being with a sense of self and purpose.
Or spawn and program the sat-nav for Hell via Jeremy Kyle. The longest route possible please, with the most congestion.
I guess my point is live your life dude and make your own worthy boxes to tick, not someone else’s idea of a worthy box. But you knew this already.
I’ll send you a postcard from Mt Fucka-Wucka…
Turning the Big 30 AND a marriage- I couldn’t handle all of that excitement. I’ve done both, just not in the same week. I think you’ve outdone us all. Anyway… Congratulations to you and your lovely wife!
As a married 20-something…well, I can say that I know about the marriage stuff changing you. It’s nice. Over a year later, I still get a kick out of saying “my husband” and “this is his wife”.
Mazel tov! Happy belated birthday.
One Take – how does the saying go? If you know you’re fucked, you’re not, and if you think you’re not fucked, you are. I think we’ve got a jump on all these young bucks because we know for a fact that we’re not only fucked, but OLD and fucked. I’m afraid I can’t remember the German…
Alicia – thank you. I actually can’t handle the excitement and will be spending the next 51 weekends having a good old sit down.
Cindy – I’m now imagining you saying “this is his wife” in person when you and your husband meet people face to face. Nice. Thanks for the well wishes, it’s always fun to get a Mazel Tov. x
My 30s thus far (and they’re ending sooner than planned) are actually better than my 20s.
Nicely done, Cory. You knocked the last decade or so right out of the park.